Untitled

The drum beats on

I can hear it pounding

BOOM BOOM BOOM

A rhythm never stopping

One that I can't control

The one played by God

At this moment I feel 

He's against me

Right now death would be a blessing

But i must be careful what I ask for

Fore I do not know the plans

That are set before me

Where will I go 

What will I do

I do not know 

what I do know is that

Right now things are not in my favor

Although the drum pounds 

I hear the sound fading

fading into nothing

Much like myself

Farther away the BOOMS dim into

Click Click Click

I long for the BOOMS 

but they've faded away

I feel my time is Slipping away 

So now I plead

PLEASE Don't take me tonight

Let me have more tomorrows

And feel the rain again

i'm far too young to die

So let me live God

I know not what I want

Or even what I need

Help me trek through my life

as I Journey through the jungles of life

You bring me to my Highest points

Yet you drop me to my lowest lows

I turn my back on you

And say that it is you who has turned on me

Bi-polar in thoughts I shift the blame

And try to balance life and a most certain Death

Either way things do not look good

So now I lay me down to Sleep

I pray the Lord my soul to keep

If I die before I wake

I pray my soul be worth the take

Poem from a bum Day

Anxiety rises and pressure builds 

I become maxed out like a spent round

Deep Breath find release 

Fade away Come again

Beating heart grows ever slow

As my mind races through every thought

Close my eyes retreat inside

Questions never clear

Answers never found

Unsure where I fit in life's puzzle

I risk turning back the clock to 

my dreadful past

Debating whether to cash out Or spin the wheel again

A twisted non lethal Russian Roulette 

Strikes a fancy in my mind

How many times will I let the chambers of choice spin

And when they stop will they work in my favor

Or will I have to fold and walk away from this hand

Perhaps I can bluff my way back to Reality

Where darkness is my solace 

And Daylight my foe

Sick of the weight my mask of burden puts on my shoulders

I now am exposed and raw

Until tomorrow that is where I will once again 

Put on my mask to hide my truth

However let it be known my mask is cracked

Thus making it harder to tell if I'm legit

For those cracks allow my true colors to show

But only when I see fit

Numb to the world 

My nerves are shot

I short circuit 

Hence I become demon like 

Just another lost soul

Maybe I should have made my own path

When the I came across two paths in a Yellow wood  

Drawn and quartered I stand trial

I am my defense and prosecution

I am the Judge, jury, and Executioner

And the tables are not turned in my favor

Before myself I plead my case 

Life imprisonment is my sentence

Now and Forever my blood will be stained 

With the disease in which I fear there is no cure  

Quarantined to prevent the spread of self hate

I loathe myself for becoming overrun 

Appealing for parole I get out

Sadly I am not out for good 

I am granted day passes 

So that I may feel happy and what it means to be loved

Only to worsen my feelings when my pass is revoked

Perhaps one day I will escape my imprisonment

Long enough to fight my disease

So I can be like you