An old poem from about two years ago. 

In my hand I hold a razor
I let its edge touch my skin 

It's edge is sharp 

Barely pressing I feel the sting

Tracing pictures on my skin

But where do I begin the incision

Where is the place where I want to bury the razors edge

Caught between right and wrong

I wonder do I dare go on 

Should I take this razor's edge and stain it crimson red

Or do I let it sit rust and gather dust

The release I need I can only find at the razor's edge

Craving euphoric release I dare to fall and never come back

My emotions complicate what I am doing

Slowly becoming numb to the world I need to feel something

One, three, five cuts won't matter 

No one will ever know

Not like anyone cares anyway

Time keeps passing 

I keep debating

Is this what I need 

Do I dare risk the transformation once again

I begin to shake 

Tears well up

Here it comes like a .50cal round

Slowly I press the edge into my skin

Almost puncturing my flesh I stop

The razor makes almost no noise as it hits the floor

Broken I sit in confusion 

My heart is racing 

I've had enough I reach for the razor

It's edge to my skin I try to force it into my skin

I blackout

Never have I felt so alive

Everything I've worked for is gone with one cut

Revived I look at my arm and realize it was all a dream

Razor still in hand I think back to my dream

Is the guilt of letting everyone down 

Worth a moment of euphoric release

I think so but the others won't see it that way

Will they see a flawed human being

Or will they see themselves 

The side of them that they never show

My tears continue to fall as I struggle with the blade

It whispers to me so sweetly 

It's thirsty for my metalic nectar

Demons hide within the blade 

My demons 

Creatures that want to deceive me with there lies into the darkness

There is no love in the darkness only hate

I've been there before so should I go back

My thoughts spiral in my mind 

Lost and confused I choose to put the blade away 

Only to come again another day