Urges

I really want to cut

Like the urge I have is unbearable

Distractions Distractions

I need to find a distraction

All I can think about is where

Every knife or blade I have is

I need a drink

But if I drink I know I’ll cut

Since even without alcohol’s

Influence I am at risk

I walk the line of neutrality

Holding a knife in my hand

Blade to my skin

I contemplate which side

Of the line I will cross to

Wanting to sleep through the urge

I can’t I’m too on edge

So many thoughts raging in my mind

Folding the blade back

I attempt to clear the fog from my mind

Tears begin to burn my eyes

Losing my mind

Just wanting the antidote

For this poison that’s inside me

Although if I dose myself with poison

Perhaps I will find relief

Though I fear if I cut

Never again will I be able to

Stop

So I replay all the memories

They become my antidote

But the poison is strong

It twist my memories

And makes them seem as if

Façade

Trapped within my mind

I take a deep breath

Close my eyes

And keep pumping the antidote

Into my system

Through my veins

To my heart and brain

Trying to eradicate the poison from

Within

Finally I can feel sleep approaching

So I fade to my dreams

Hoping that my urges pass

With the rising

Of a new dawn