Sobering Up

Indescribable feelings surge through me

The urge to self-destruct is growing ever strong

Pulse racing from fear and muscles tensing from anger

Will this be the end of me or just the beginning?

Thoughts escape my mind quicker than the sands of time

A vessel without a soul is what I become

Trying to fight without emotion

I feel nothing therefore I am nothing

Numb to the world war wages on

A demon in human form is what I’m afraid I am

The armor is cracking

I am vulnerable to the human elements

Frozen I do not react normally

My eyes like black holes in the universe

Everything disappears before I can register it

Hollow empty I am void

Clearing the fog I witness a new world

A place I want to be

Unattainable until I clean out the skeletons

And cobwebs that live in my head

Life continues moving forward

I’m left wishing it would stop

Just long enough for me to heal

So I can continue with my life

Heart heavy it sits in my stomach

My nerves of steel have turned to rust

Unable to deal I am a prisoner of my mind

Wasting away self-defeated

Climbing the fence one last time

I find relief on the other side