Vent #1

Today I have been lacking motivation to do pretty much everything. I'm a loss of what to do. I just got off the phone with my sister and that gave me a boost but how long will it last I wonder. Everything happens for a reason it was no mistake that she happened to call when she did. A bump in the road that's what I'd call how I feel today. If I could I'd sleep until high school is over. I just need a break from this hectic circle that's weighing me down. Guilt is nagging at me I had a sandwich for lunch and I probably shouldn't have had it but I did, so what now. I feel disgusting but in reality I know I'm not...I have to keep telling myself that I am stronger then that.
As I sit in my house looking out the window at a rainy Minnesota fall, I can't help but think that today is going to be a long hard day. I could fight the feelings I'm having today but I feel like I should save my energy for the bigger battle ahead of me. I have a problem, admitting it is the first and hardest step or at least for me it is. From here I hope to only get stronger and better hard as it may be...now more then ever I need to find my true friends and hope they can give me a push in the right direction so I can help myself get better.